| Managing Emotions, Fighting Privilege |
[18 Nov 2009|11:03pm] |
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It's hard not to get emotionally involved when advocating for clients. I meet with them, listen to their stories, and want to help them make it better.
My clients are the hardest working people I know. They call me frequently, come into my office to see me, and are always asking what they can do next, not what I am doing next. They are always thanking me, when they should be thanking themselves that they are coming to me for help in the first place. They want to work for themselves.
When I call a worker about a denied application or change in benefits when there has been a mistake, I am angry. I am mostly angry at the oversight of the worker and that they haven't reached out to the client for valid information. I'm angry because my client is without their basic necessities because of someone else's mistake.
On the flip side, I have about 40 cases, which consist of all ages and family sizes. Some are ready to be closed, and for some I am just waiting for the 30-45 days for their public benefits case to open. I can not imagine what it must be like to have an active caseload of 100 or over. So I understand that the workers' jobs are in no way easy. However, if I were homeless, and had all of the baggage that came with that (stress, anxiety, anger, sadness, hunger, lack of sleep, dirty clothes, lack of proper hygienic resources, lack of support), I can not say I would be as open-minded to what my worker was going through. It takes vulnerability to ask for help. It takes showing yourself at your weakest point to prove that you are actually in need of assistance. It must be emotionally draining. As a "helper," that is, the person that has somehow been designated with a position of power, I do not need to make myself vulnerable at any point. I am secure. I cite the law and know that it is right, according to the book of regulations on public benefits. At the end of the day, I know I have access to food, shelter, and basic living needs. I not only have that, I have the support of a group of people who would bend over backwards to help me. This angers me too. What makes me so special that I can have these things and my clients have to fight, day after day, for them? I know what it is- it's privilege. It's race, it's class, and it's my mother. My mother worked for me since the day I was born so that I would be safe and happy. She made sure I felt good about myself and received a good education. If I did not have that, I can not say I would be as successful, and in a position of power over these people who are pure fighters. From this perspective, people are being punished for the family they were born into.
****
I've been in the Catholic Charities Service Corps for three months as of this past Monday. I am placed at Neighborhood Legal Services (NLS), under the Homeless Task Force in the Public Benefits unit. I help people who are homeless gain access to emergency shelter and public benefits (Public Assistance, Food Stamps, Medicaid). There are seven other volunteers in my program, and they are all amazing. Each brings a different set of talents to the group. We really support and care for one another. At my placement, the attorneys and other intern are so supportive. They make themselves readily available for questions, and when they ask me how everything is going, they genuinely care and listen to my response. I couldn't ask for anything more.
My work at NLS has taught me so much thus far. It has taught me to get a handle on my emotions when I encounter a client with a very sad story. At the beginning, my job was very intimidating, but I was up for the challenge. It freaked me out how much power I had to potentially do a lot of harm or good. I'm aiming for the latter, and a ton of it! I spend a lot of my time advocating for clients through the Department of Social Services; calling workers for details, requesting and examining notices, questioning notices, calling fair hearings, etc. Luckily, most of the workers with whom I've interacted have been extremely helpful. Not everyone is going to be perfect at any agency (except NLS, haha).
A lot of the time, details just aren't explained very well to the clients. The majority of my clients have anxiety, depression, and/or a developmental disability. I remember at the beginning, when I would get phone calls from clients who were near tears or crying, I would just want to hang up and withdraw. Then, I would gather my emotions say to myself, "It's their time to be weak right now. You have people who are strong for you when you are weak. Be strong for them." So I take a deep breath, and continue asking them things I would need to know in order to help them.
It's scary to listen to someone who literally has nothing. It's scary to not have any place to go. It's scary to call a worker who is possibly not very nice and ask them why they cut off my client's benefits, because now they don't have any food for the month and/or can't pay their rent. It's scary knowing that I might screw up. But at the end of the day, I know I have a safe place to go to. It's not fair, and it keeps me motivated.
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| Tonight was interesting, to say the least.. |
[03 Jun 2008|11:34pm] |
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Throughout my life, I have thought repeatedly at moments of equality that spoke to my heart, “I wish Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. were here to see this.” When I have relationships with people of color, I wonder how I would have managed to go on living when that was not socially permitted. How could I stand not getting to know so many great people, so many great Americans, because of the misguided stereotypes against them? Communicating with diverse peoples makes me passionate about living and learning. It is unfortunate that Americans were deprived of that opportunity for so long, to create such relationships.
I am definitely scared that Obama won’t win and that we will be stuck with another conservative who disrespects the Constitution and the working poor (not that all conservatives do this, just referring to President Bush).
These next few months are going to be very interesting.
Senator McCain accused Senator Obama of not trusting the American people to make good decisions without the guidelines of law. It is true that Obama calls for greater restrictions on economic policies (and they actually have a few things in common, such as Cap and Trade), but does McCain not call for laws against gay marriage and abortion? Since Republicans traditionally favor economic freedom over social, and Democrats social freedom over economic, both parties do not “trust the American people to make good decisions without the guidelines of law” to a certain extent. It was also frustrating to watch Sean Hannity’s (grr..) opinion of Obama’s “attacks” on McCain without acknowledging McCain de-legitimizing Obama’s candidacy. Neither are innocent.
Talk to you all soon.
My Best,
Christina
P.S. I voted in New Jersey's Congressional elections today.. and I did it wrong. The man who signed me up did not give me the instructions properly, and that was very frustrating. So, I lost my vote for all but one of the many different offices. My right as an American citizen >:|.. First he laughed when he asked which party and I said "Democratic." Jerk.
I will personally make sure that when I register voters, I will also educate them thoroughly on voting procedures. I thought that telling a new voter how to do it would be common knowledge.
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| Politics? Who cares? |
[03 Jun 2008|11:18am] |
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I never used to be into politics.
I began following the 2008 election last summer by doing independent research on the Democratic candidates. Unfortunately, none of my close friends are interested in politics. They express their opinions when, and only when, I introduce a topic. I also attend a relatively politically inactive college and it is frustrating trying to find others who are willing to discuss important issues with me. My fellow Social Work majors are wonderful for having an interest in such topics. I am not an extremely political person, but I often search the web for hours looking up articles and opinions.
I officially decided to support Senator Barack Obama for President in February after John Edwards and Dennis Kucinich dropped out of the race. Hillary was never really an option for me. She doesn't inspire me, thought I know she would be an effective President. Senator Obama makes me wake up every morning now and think about how proud I am to be an American. That is a feeling I've never had before in my twenty years of life. Now that I have it, I don't want it to go anywhere.. and I want others to feel that same pride. Don't get me wrong, I am not specifically proud of where the United States is today- our standing regarding foreign affairs, Iraq, broken health care system, etc. I am proud of our founding, our Declaration of Independence, Constitution, Bill of Rights, and most importantly, our breath-taking potential. Senator Obama recognizes this and has helped me to as well.
This summer I will be doing all I can to campaign for Senator Obama; and I couldn't be more proud. An ENORMOUS thank you to all of my supporters who are donating or publicizing in order to help me participate in this groundbreaking campaign!
My Best,
Christina
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